“10 Nagging Questions Left Open By Disney Movies”
2. How does the magical child slavery ring in Pinocchio stay open?
“Pinocchio was a surprisingly dark film, with the darkest sequence being when a bunch of ‘bad’ boys are turned into donkeys by a sinister magical amusement park. The boys are lured away from school and onto a boat by a carnival barker. The boat takes them to Pleasure Island, an incredible amusement park where they are given pie and ice cream and roast chicken and told to go on rides and start fights. They’re given tobacco to smoke and encouraged to ruin works of art like stained glass windows. Eventually, they start turning into … something else. The barker says, “Give a bad boy enough rope and he’ll soon make a jackass of himself.” The boys grow ears, tails, and finally turn into donkeys. They’re crated up, sometimes screaming for their mothers, and put on another boat bound for ‘salt mines.’ My main question isn’t about the moral implications of this. No — my problem is economic. Is there some kind of massive donkey shortage? How is selling mules to salt mines going to generate enough revenue to support two boats, a massive amusement park stocked with alcohol, tobacco, and an endless supply of stained glass windows? I know that there is symbolism going on here, but it seems like even the beautiful symbolism can’t overcome the relative ease of just buying a herd of donkeys who are already conveniently located near a salt mine.”
thank you, Esther Inglis-Arkell- you have truly recaptured the magic of Disney for yet another generation
(entire site and list of Disney sillies is linked to her name)
By S. Clarke Hulse’s count, Titus Andronicus is a play with ‘14 killings, 9 of them on stage, 6 severed members, 1 rape (or 2 or 3, depending on how you count), 1 live burial, 1 case of insanity and 1 of cannibalism—an average of 5.2 atrocities per act, or one for every 97 lines.’
Reviewer Mike Gene Wallace adds, ‘This is a great play. We’re talking fourteen dead bodies, kung-fu, sword-fu, spear-fu, dagger-fu, arrow-fu, pie-fu, animal screams on the soundtrack, heads roll, hands roll, tongues roll, nine and a half quarts of blood, and a record-breaking 94 on the vomit meter.’
Really, there’s not much more to say; that is the essence of the play. Titus Andronicus is a non-stop potboiler catalog of abominations (with the poetry itself counted as a crime by many critics).
wouldn’t it just be so much fun to go to war?
uh, well on top of getting awesome fighting and technical training, traveling the wide and wild world, and getting to shoot some badass crazy weapons…you can meet up with the largest, freakiest bugs in existence
6. Giant Camel Spiders: The deserts of the Middle East
“Interesting fact: Giant Camel Spiders have even been found hiding in soldier’s sleeping bags.” (16 Largest Insects in the World: All of your nightmares in one post.)
yeah…coming back from battle to find an alien in your bed sounds like sooo much fun
soldiers, thank you for fighting for our freedoms and putting up with crazy shit like this